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The Foundation of Your Marriage

"Proclaim this among the nations: Prepare for war! Rouse the warriors! Let all the fighting men draw near and attack." Joel 3:9

Back in the day when I watched daytime tv, I would hear troubled couples talk about where they were in their marriage. Like, "We've just grown apart." "I've fallen out of love with him." "We have nothing in common anymore." etc. etc. I often caught myself wondering if that would ever happen to my marriage. Can you grow apart? Fall out of love? Or realize after the fact that you don't like the same things?

Over the years of our marriage I think I can say, yes you can to all of them if we're not paying attention to our relationship. You can't be like two ships passing in the night or passing at all. You can't live together separately. You can't cultivate a strong, lasting relationship on hope and wishes, it takes work (sometimes blood, sweat and tears.)

I want to encourage you no matter what level of a 'good marriage' you believe you have; for a moment; stop and look around. Just as God challenged the nations through Joel to prepare and be protective, so must we be protective of our marriage. Now is the time to be intentional. As Joel's prophecy extends far into the future, we also need to have a long-term view of our marriage. Like Joel, we need to prepare for war, not against each other, but against the forces that would attack and seek to weaken our marriage, such as indifference, busyness, miscommunication or no communication.

I found this activity I want to challenge you to try with each other in evaluating your marriage as it is today. On a scale of one to five (one being -needs improvement- and five being -awesome-) rate your relationship in the following areas.


Handling anger

Resolving conflict




Goal setting

Spiritual intimacy

Sexual intimacy


(Choose an area that is ranked lower and come up with your own way to plan for improvement until you have accomplished every area that needs attention.)

You can prepare the foundation of your marriage for successful growth by being proactive now. This is one war that, together, you can win.

I love you & He loves you more!

Lord, Bless our marriage. Show us where we need to give more attention and nurture our relationship and help us to work together to build a solid, loving union. In Jesus' name. Amen.

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