"For am I now trying to persuade people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10
At fifteen I had come to the conclusion that I was a people pleaser, at least in this one instance. I became best friends with a girl that was my polar opposite.
She was always happy-go-lucky; taking life by the horns and being in charge. She knew where she was going (as much as a thirteen year old could) and would run over anything to get there. She was loud and proud; never meeting a stranger. There was no obstacle that was too big for her that she wouldn't tackle head on.
I on the other hand was cautious and questioning. I was unsure and timid at best. I was quiet and shy and knew who my good friends were and kept them close. You had to earn my trust and carry your life similar to mine for me to accept you into my circle. I would acknowledge an obstacle and hope I could figure out a way to overcome it or ask for advice on how to handle it.
There couldn't have been two more different people in this world than us and yet we found each other.
We were "best friends" for two years until we were not. I had never welcomed someone of her fearless spirit into my life. She came in like a tornado and left just as quickly. I became a different person when I was with her. In the beginning I liked the adventure. I felt brave and strong; I knew I could possibly conquer anything and would have a good time doing it with her by my side (or holding on for dear life with her always being in the driver's seat).
Together we raced through as many exciting shenanigans as thirteen year olds could, getting reprimanded by parents or youth workers but always having fun doing it. I never once thought to press my brake pedal, knowing that she would drive us through and we would survive because she was fearless (I held tight to her coat tale). Never really fearing what we came against because she was headstrong and resilient in our never-ending escapades.
At fifteen what I learned from that friendship was that I was a people pleaser. I would have never tried the things we did on my own. The ideas she had, that for the most part I tried hard to talk her out of, would have never been something I would have done by myself. For those short two years of "living life on the edge", as I refer to it now, I came to realize was not me. It was not who I wanted to be. Don't be mistaken, for the most part I had fun; lots of laughs and many memories, but in the end I knew we were not good for one another. I knew I did not want to be who I was when I was with her because I felt I had to be someone else for her to see value in me.
"that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;" (Col. 1:10).
I needed a reprieve from that friendship so that I could get back to living a life pleasing unto God and not people. I desired a break from all the craziness and to get back to living my steady, calm and easygoing existence. I wanted relief from all the drama; I was never so happy to have stability to my life again; welcoming the composed and tranquil life I had left, so happy it was there waiting for me. I found myself again not having to please anyone to find favor with them. I thank God for her and for that experience but I wouldn't trade who I am for anything; God made me just the way I am and I choose to live to please Him.
"Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God;" (1 Thess. 4:1)
Let's be who Christ made us to be and seek only to please Him.
I love you & He loves you more!
Lord, Thank You for life experiences and learning and growing through them. Thank You for always bringing me back to You. May I strive more and more to be pleasing unto You and not to man. I desire to be Your servant and serve others by serving You. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Originally posted on 4/2/2020