"Listen, O daughter,
Consider and incline your ear;
Forget your own people also, and your father's house;
So the King will greatly desire your beauty;
Because He is your Lord, worship Him.
The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace;
Her clothing is woven with gold.
She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors;
The virgins, her companions who follow her, shall be brought to You.
With gladness and rejoicing they shall be brought;
They shall enter the King's palace." Psalm 45:10-11; 13-15
This is part of a love letter to us from our Lord. He is letting us know that He was our prince way before we married our prince charming on our wedding day.
All the hopes and dreams of our husband and our life together; all the plans of that beautiful day we spent months preparing for; all the expectations and desires we placed on the man we said 'I do' to, pales in comparison to what He welcomes us into.
You see, when we marry we accept him as he is with hopes of changing him into what the picture we drew in our heads when we were little girls. We lay on him all the make believe and pretends of what our imagination held for a man we would share our life with. After the honeymoon we realize the reality is you are two different people. Different in our hopes and dreams; our aspirations; our goals and how to achieve those goals. (We really learn how each of us live differently under one roof.)
You have to come to terms with the knowledge that only God can lead you to true fulfillment, and he is enthralled with your beauty. He is so in love with you.
All the disappointment you may have in your marriage and all the rejection you might be feeling, know that you are perfectly made in God's sight. He planned out exactly how He wanted you to be, and when You plunge yourself into learning more about Him and His love for you, the sooner you will be able to relieve your husband of all your needs and demands you placed on him, which gives him freedom to be who Christ wants him to be.
"A man who is expected to play God in terms of fulfilling a woman's needs might play God by trying to control her or shape her into who he wants her to be instead of who God created her to be." -Connie Neal
Expecting your husband to fulfill you and meet your deepest needs puts that man in a place only God should hold in your life. Our desires for fulfillment, acceptance, unconditional love, security, and validation are good but we need only to transfer these desires to the One capable of fulfilling them. Then your husband can come along beside and love you like Christ made a husband to love his wife.
God promises that the heart that seeks Him sincerely will find Him. He wants to prove to you that this promise is true. Let Him. By seeking a close relationship with your heavenly Father and putting Him first in your life, you gain the confidence through His love and acceptance of you to stand beside your husband, allowing him to fulfill his role God lays out for him.
I love you & He loves you more!
Dear Lord, May we, as Your daughters, seek to fulfill our role. Help us to honor You in how we live our lives especially in our marriage. May we put our hope in You and be filled with Your joy and gladness as we enter into Your presence each day. In Jesus' name. Amen.