Patience or Pride?

"A patient spirit is better than a proud spirit. Don't let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools" Ecclesiastes 7:8,9

I have read before that a marriage counselor, during a counseling session, will sit and watch as the two spouses interact with one another through discussions of life, family, work, issues that have become points of aggravation to one of them or both. Communication or lack thereof being the culprit to what brought them to seek out a mediator in the first place.

The counselor says that almost always what causes trouble in having a successful argument is attitude. He said that the attitude with which a person engages in an argument tells him everything he needs to know. He explains there are two attitudes; one of patience and one of pride.

The patient spirit starts the conversation gently, wisely choosing her words so as not to immediately ignite tempers.

The proud spirit charges angrily at the other person, temper already hot.

The patient spirit listens to responses, making an honest effort to hear her spouse's point of view.

The proud spirit talks over her spouse, only interested in making herself heard.

The patient spirit is slow to anger, coming to the conversation with love for her spouse. The proud spirit is overwhelmed with anger, coming to the conversation with love for herself.

The patient spirit has a big picture perspective of the circumstances, knowing that nothing stays the same forever, and that she has the ability to change.

The proud spirit can't see past her hurt and is fixated on her feelings.

The patient spirit can resolve a conflict well because she is willing to compromise and wants peace.

The proud spirit will keep the conflict going indefinitely, only interested in winning.

The patient spirit is willing to be wrong and apologizes when she has done or said something hurtful.

The proud spirit seeks only to be justified in her actions, no matter how hurtful they may be.

The patient spirit perseveres, because she knows some things take time.

The proud spirit gives up, because she can only see herself in the moment.

The patient spirit readily forgives her spouse.

The proud spirit holds on to grudges, looking to make things even.

"But let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing." (Ja. 1:4)

"Oh, love the Lord, all you His saints for the Lord preserves the faithful, and fully repays the proud person." (Ps. 31:23)

So girls, the next time you find yourself in conflict with your husband take notice of what spirit you convey. Are you coming with patience or pride? Your attitude makes all the difference.

I love you & He loves you more!

Lord, help me to have the right attitude when Dana and I have a conflict. Give me a loving attitude as we walk this life-long journey we committed to You when we said "I do". The road is sometimes difficult but so worth working through it together; always together. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.