Making Decisions as a Married Couple
"Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24
Dana and I celebrated our thirty third anniversary this past week at the beach with our children, grandchildren and Gran and Pop. Life is sweet. I've learned a lot about how to be a wife over the years, and as you know that is a good thing because as a nineteen year old when I started out...I didn't know much.
When I hear the word "submission" my memory takes me back to a time when I was that teen wife and the lesson I learned on the importance of submitting to my husband.
We were trying to work out all the details of married life and soon to be parents, and bills and the expense of child care, and we agreed that I should be a stay at home mom. I mean I would practically be handing over my whole paycheck for someone else to raise our baby and we just couldn't see the good in that, plus to be home with my baby was my dream and it matched Dana's too.
Through this decision it was brought to my attention that we were going to have to sell one of our vehicles (be a one car family for a while). Dana thought we should sell mine because his was brand new when he bought it and he had only had it for a short while. I thought we should sell his because even though I bought mine used it was my first car I bought for myself and I was proud of it (I wasn't ready to let it go yet).
The day his little red car drove away from our home with its new owners the trouble began. Dana became the primary driver of my car since he went to work everyday. He had taken it for a service check up and they noticed the tires were worn on one side more than the other. In the end we found out that my car had been wrecked, unbeknownst to me at the time of purchase, and that we would never be able to keep a healthy set of tires on it because of the warped frame.
Now you might be thinking that was something I couldn't have predicted or that the car lot that sold me that car should have disclosed that information, (and that would have been nice) but let me tell you, when I heard about this issue with my car that I had fought to keep I realized how important it was to leave some decisions up to my husband and look beyond my wants to what is best for the family (it cost us more in the end and the guilt I carried was pretty expensive also).
God opened my eyes to more than my selfish desires. He revealed to me that some things are not as they seem and to trust your husband's intuition, he has your family's best interests at heart. We can know the Lord is pleased when we as wives submit "as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22).
I'm not suggesting a Christian wife shouldn't possess her own perspective. Married couples absolutely should discuss options. Dana and I talk through all of our big decisions and I trust all of his input as well as he trust mine.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others." (Phil. 2:3-4)
We honor God when we interact with one another and give from a heart of caring for the other's needs and desires. Holding fast to a gentle and quiet spirit which is pleasing unto the Lord. (1 Peter 3:4)
I love you & He loves you more!
Lord, Thank You for mine and Dana's relationship. You have grown us into a couple that is loving and respectful of one another and for that I am grateful. We desire Your blessings on our marriage always. Help me to submit to him as to the Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen.