Let's Beat the Odds

"My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." Isaiah 32:18

I read an article the other day on a statistician's opinion of the chances being five in ten that a marriage will end in divorce. He went on to say that if one or both partners are still teenagers the odds for divorce are even higher. If either partner witnessed an unhappy marriage at home, the odds increase again. If one or both partners come from broken homes, the odds rise yet higher. If either partner has been divorced, the odds soar. If there has been regular sexual involvement before marriage, or if either or both partners abuse alcohol or drugs, the odds skyrocket.

Now that I've gotten that sordid, sad, dismal analysis out of the way, let's move on to what we can do to change our odds if we fall into any of these categories.

Regardless of your marriage "odds," I have a soul-searching question for you that will help you beat them: Ask yourself,

How would I like to be married to me?

That simple question can do more to help you ensure the success of your marriage and build a secure home than just about anything else. Just think about it.

~How would you rate you as a marriage partner?

~Are you easy to live with?

~How do you enrich the relationship?

~What are the positive qualities you bring to your marriage?

Every marriage is unique, and while there is not an exact list of qualities that describes a good spouse, consider some of the traits that show up again and again in studies of life-long love. Research has shown that the partner who is easy to live with feels good about himself. He is not too concerned with the impression he makes on others. He can throw back his head, breathe deeply and enjoy life.

"But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another." (Gal. 6:4)

The person who makes a good, life-long marriage partner and helps to build a "peaceful dwelling place" also has a way of passing over minor offenses and injustices. In other words, she is not easily offended (a very popular word for our day).

"Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another." (Rom. 14:19)

Paul encouraged the believer to live in a manner that promotes harmony and edifies or builds up others, which is where we should focus our intent on making our marriage healthy, life-giving and long-lasting.

To be a good spouse, search yourself. Ask yourself these questions and study the answers. Make changes where you know you would not want to be married to you and don't forget to allow the Lord to show you where change is needed.

I love you & He loves you more!

Lord, Help us in our pursuit to build a happy, life-long marriage. Show us where needed change in our heart is evident and help us to be molded into Your likeness. May we strive to beat the odds and build up our marriage strong on Your firm foundation. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen.