• Kim

I'm Not First

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31

A marriage relationship must be founded on a give and take mentality. We have to come to a point where compromise is present in every situation. As we grow in our relationship with the Lord and our spouse we learn that always getting our way does not equal happiness and peace in the home. We are two very different people but as a married couple we move through life as one person.

Dana became very good at this early on in our marriage. (Me...not so much.) Thankfully God allowed me to see and understand through time and experiences and Dana as my example that I must not act and react as my own person when it came to decisions and choices that had to be made, but focus on my husband's needs also, and consider his desires as part of my own.

Marriage is hard. It is a constant cycle of give and take, even when you don't feel that loving feeling toward the other half of you. You will learn that through compromise it benefits you in the end and makes you proud of the sacrifices you made to make your union run smoothly.

You might feel that you are the only one having to compromise but don't give up. I know that Dana probably felt that way too, but over time I noticed his selfless acts of love for our family and I came around to what it meant to live for another and share the tasks of sacrificing for the health and success of our marriage and ultimately our family.

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Eph. 5:33)

A woman's rewards are not based upon her role in the kingdom but upon her faithfulness in fulfilling the assignment God gives. When we obey God's Word and live according to His law He will give us what we need to compromise and sacrifice, which will help toward respecting our husband in ways we couldn't do on our own.

~Don't focus on what He doesn't do.

Recall and compliment him on his accomplishments.

~Don't keep score of each task you accomplish and each one he doesn't.

Be reminded that the two of you are a team; you win and lose together.

~Don't blame and ridicule him when he disappoints you.

Be open and honest without being critical.

"But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." (Heb.13:16)

I love you & He loves you more!

Lord, May we strive to please You in all we do. May we cling to You and study Your Word to know how to navigate our marriage and be successful at it. Bless us as we walk the path You have laid out before us with our spouse learning to compromise with one another. In Jesus' name. Amen.

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